Amended Lawsuit
January 14, 2013 in Sovereign Grace Ministries
You can read the original lawsuit here.
For those of you who are new to the site and are interested in understanding some of the assumptions and the mindset that could cause leaders to behave in ways described in the lawsuit’s allegations, this post from 2011 does a good job of connecting the dots.
What follows are some of the portions that reflect the changes in Friday’s amended filing.
Paula Poe is a female who was repeatedly sexually assaulted during her childhood at the School at CLC and at various church events convened in Maryland. Due to the nature of the lawsuit, she wishes to use the pseudonym Paula Poe to keep her identity confidential. Paula Poe brings this action on her own behalf and on behalf of those similarly situated.
FACTS REGARDING PAULA POE
Paula Poe attended the School and services at CLC beginning in kindergarten until her family moved away from Gaithersburg, Maryland. Paula Poe was repeatedly sexually assaulted by two men. The primary perpetrator was a pastor and teacher. The secondary perpetrator was a children’s ministry worker.
On multiple occasions, the two perpetrators, acting in concert, had Poe strip, and sexually molested her. These sexual molestations occurred on the School and Church premises, and at Church events, such as picnics.
On multiple occasions, the primary perpetrator sexually molested Paula Poe at the School and Church events.
On one occasion, the secondary perpetrator sexually molested Paula Poe outdoors during a Church picnic.
Upon information and belief, Paula Poe was not the only victim of this pedophilia ring operating within the School and Church.
Upon information and belief, the pedophilia ring’s victims included children who subsequently went on to prey upon other young children.
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Carla Coe is a female who was repeatedly abused by Defendant Tomzcak, primarily in Maryland and Virginia. Due to the nature of the lawsuit, she wishes to use the pseudonym Carla Coe to keep her identity confidential. Carla Coe brings this action on her behalf and on behalf of those similarly situated.
FACTS REGARDING CARLA COE
Carla Coe was repeatedly assaulted by Defendant Tomczak and his co-conspirators during a 25-year period spanning her childhood and young adulthood. Defendant Tomczak assaulted Carla Coe with his hands, as well as with various instruments, including but not limited to, plastic and wooden sticks.
On multiple occasions, including occasions after Carla Coe reached the age of majority, Defendant Tomczak forced Karla Coe to strip out of her clothing against her will, and be beaten on her bare buttocks. Defendant Tomczak continued to engage in this forced undressing and beating of Carla Coe until she fled and escaped from the abuse.
On several occasions, Defendant Tomczak imprisoned Carla Coe and denied her food for extended periods of time.
Defendant Tomczak verbally admitted on one or more occasions to the individual Defendants and to the Church that he abused Carla Coe. No one reported the beatings to the secular authority.
The assaults by Defendant Tomczak and his co-conspirators’ assaults primarily occurred in Maryland and Virgina.
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Grace Goe is as female who, along with her siblings, was repeatedly abused by her father while residing in Maryland. When she sought assistance from Defendants to stop the ongoing physical and sexual abuse, they failed to assist the girls, failed to report the ongoing abuse to the secular authorities, and instead alerted the abuser to his daughters’ please for aid. Due to the nature of the lawsuit, she wishes to use the pseudonym Grace Goe to keep her identity confidential. Grace Goe brings this action on her own behalf and on behalf of those similarly situated.
FACTS REGARDING GRACE GOE
Grace Goe was physically and sexually abused by her father when she was a minor and living in Maryland. Grace Goe’s father repeatedly beat her on her naked buttocks so harshly that she bled and bruised. Her father would then submerge her into an ice bath to hide the physical manifestations of the beatings.
Grace Goe’s father also repeatedly sexually abused her, making her rub his feet, which he then inserted into her vagina.
Grace Goe’s father engaged in the physical and sexual abuse toward the other children, including the male children, whose penises he repeatedly fondled.
Grace Goe and her older female sibling reported the fact of the abuse to Defendant CLC, seeking protection from their father. Grace Goe and her sibling met with Defendants Ricucci and Layman, and explained the severity of the abuse.
Rather than report the ongoing abuse to the secular authorities, Defendants informed the father that his children had reported the abuse. This led to further abuse by the father.
—————————–
Karen Koe and Karl Koe are brother and sister, both of whom were sexually assaulted as children residing in Virginia. Due to the nature of the lawsuit, they wish to use the pseudonyms Karen Koe and Karl Koe to keep their identities confidential. They bring this action on their own behalf and on behalf of those similarly situated.
FACTS REGARDING KARL KOE
Karl Koe was seven years old when he was repeatedly sexually molested (approximately ten times) by the male son of a Church pastor.
The perpetrator (then aged approximately 12 or 13) molested Karl Koe in multiple locations, including the bathroom at Church. The perpetrator engaged in multiple unwanted sexual acts, including kissing Karl Koe and fondling his penis.
After Karl Koe informed his parents that he had been molested, his parents advised Defendants Ecelbarger, Gallo, Mullery and V. Hinders, as well as others, of the molestation. Defendants failed to report the molestation to the secular authorities. Defendant V. Hinders misrepresented to the parents of Karl Koe that the Church had taken care of the matter by requiring the perpetrator to attend a different church service than Karl Koe.
Defendants, including the pastor father of the predator, failed to take any steps whatsoever to prevent the juvenile sexual predator from preying upon other children. Defendants continued to permit the juvenile sexual predator to have unfettered access to children on Church premises and during Church activities, such as Home Group and Celebration.
Upon information and belief, the juvenile perpetrator may have been one of the victims of the pedophilia ring operating at the School prior to sexually molesting Karl Koe.
FACTS REGARDING KAREN KOE
Karen Koe was sexually molested by a juvenile sexual predator when she was eight years old.
Karen Koe did not tell her parents about the molestation until some years later. At that point, her parents alerted Defendants and also alerted the police.
Karen Koe’s parents learned that the juvenile sexual predator who had molested their daughter had been initially charged with raping a minor, and subsequently served time in juvenile detention. Although this fact was known to Defendants, they permitted the juvenile sexual predator unfettered access to children.
Defendants refused to cooperate with the prosecuting secular authorities, who successfully prosecuted and convicted the juvenile sexual predator on felony charges. Defendant Gallo took steps to obstruct justice, including but not limited to making misrepresentations.
EDITED TO ADD: IF YOU WISH TO JOIN THE CONVERSATION BY LEAVING A COMMENT, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM SPECULATING ABOUT THE IDENTITIES OF THE VICTIMS. COMMENTS CONTAINING SUCH SPECULATION WILL BE DELETED. THANK YOU FOR HONORING THIS REQUEST.
© 2013, Kris. All rights reserved.
Never Again said, “Oh, if only these men would cry out to God in heartbroken repentance and sorrow! If only they could think of the victims more than of their own survival and maneuvering. Then they might find the mercy they didn’t show to others.”
Lord, we pray this. Give them the grace to access your mercy even right now!
Julie Ann said, ” It’s important to remember that the victims will be reading here and as the news media gets the story and this will surely reopen old wounds. My thoughts and prayers go to the victims right now.”
Julie Ann, THANK YOU for your sensitivity to the victims who have had the courage to come forward.
@ Kris #35.
My take on watching or writing about intricately interrelated situations like this over the years is that full denial of details can’t last forever. There are always too many loose threads in the warp and weave of things to hold a faulty story together, and the material denial will eventually unravel.
With this lawsuit against Sovereign Grace Ministries and individual leaders, at some point, the mountain of documented and verified evidence will be so high that it may well turn into “IMplausible deniability” for those who’ve been atop the SGM pyramid. Even if any one of them doesn’t know everything, they can’t logically all together know nothing. Something will break through … and then, hopefully, the survivors’ long climb up toward justice will be rewarded.
Thanks again for your role in providing a place for survivors to meet, compare notes, support one another, move forward …
#15 Catherine L.
In the original lawsuit at #27 it states: “During a meeting held on August 17, 2011, the Church claimed-falsely-that there had ONLY BEEN TWO INCIDENTS of sexual predation when the Church knew the number was far greater”. (Since this filing I guess they are going to have to amend their claim).
Sexual abuse of children by trusted figures is a crime comparable to incest in the betrayel of trust, particularly since offenders usually exploit children in the context of a trusting relationship.
Child molesters thrive in an atmosphere of ignorance, secrecy, and anonymity. If we are to protect our children from these criminals, we must reveal where there is secrecy, and identify where there is anonymity.
All SGM affiliated churches/members should withdraw financial support (God’s money) to SGM. Local churches must be made accountable by their congregation/members.
SGM leaders chose to handle this abuse by looking the other way, reacted self protectively, and stifled information instead of taking action in the best interest of the children.
Catherine Laboure – I find it a little odd, yet consistent with SGM, that you show up unannounced and start correcting people and telling them what to do. Just a thought.
People do need to know if those accused are still within SGM and children are at risk or if their children might have been exposed to abuse and it has gone unreported. If I had a child who had been exposed to one of the accused or even attended CLC or CLC school, we would be having a serious talk tonight to help determine if the child was abused.
@Catherine #50
Everyone has different sensibilities, and it is not the right nor job of ours to police each other’s sensibilities. To label the rejoicing and happiness of others seeing the impending convictions, punishment and application of the law on others who are guilty of a most heinous crime is not “oddly” prideful. I must politely disagree with you. And I tell you this, if someone raped my baby or abused my child, I’d happily dance upon their grave… of which grave they’d probably be in because of my own doing. There is no rage I could express more than the rage of having someone abuse your child, or abuse you. Now, I am not giving an excuse for murder. But I am simply talking about allowable rage adn feelings, and anger, and anything else one would feel in such a situation. These people on the blog, the members of these churches, the spiritually abused and so forth have all been told for so long how to feel about their anger, their hurt, their doubts and about God from the very people who abused them; from the people in their congregations whom they trusted; from family members and so forth. Please dont join those ranks. Let people be who they are. Be willing to put up with a little discomfort in seeing them even gloat at the demise of someone who abused them. With all that they have suffered, I think you can be a little uncomfortable and allow them that. Just please stop telling people how they should feel or temper their feelings. I’d be more than willing to be oddly prideful or even in grave error. Because let me tell you Catherine, suffering is real and it is not the job of anyone else to tell someone how to suffer or even rejoice. I’m willing to let these victims and those of us who are mourning with them to risk being in error of taking an odd pleasure in seeing the downfall of their offenders. They have too many burdens as it is. We all have. Please dont place yet another burden upon the suffering and those who have suffered with them. I am not God and neither are they, or you. May God have mercy upon them. But as for me, I have none. And it is a good thing that I am not God. So I’ll be me, and I’ll let God be God. You should do the same.
To those who think it strange that an adult woman would allow herself to be spanked into her 20’s, I refer you to the stories of Sherman Allen’s victims.
http://www.dallasobserver.com/2008-02-21/news/pentecostal-preacher-sherman-allen-turns-out-to-be-reverend-spanky/
It’s a long article, and I don’t want to take away from the spotlight on SGM’s abuses. But, yes, it does and has happened. Especially when one is raised in a religious environment that requires you to view your minister as God’s very authority, victims can accept the spankings as discipline from the Lord himself. These SGM survivors have been deeply affected by the abusive ministry they were under for so long. They need our full support.
Biker Chick, you said, “My heart cause out to Carla, as her abuse sounds the most wretched of all!”
I can only imagine that whoever his victim is, would find great comfort in knowing that they are thought of and cared for in this most horrendous time.
TRINA (I put your name in caps in hopes that you would see it), I wish I could hug you right now. It makes my heart hurt to think of the abuse you suffered, and then, to have it COMPOUNDED by your very church who should have been there to protect you. I hope you don’t mind, but I am going to repeat that- they should have been there to protect you. You didn’t deserve that. I get how it can wreck your faith. If I may, I’d like to point out something pretty amazing. In spite of what you went through, God revealed in your heart that this was WRONG. I can’t get over that. I mean, everyone should know that abuse is wrong, but some people come to accept it. I am … happy isn’t the right word but I don’t know what is…. that you KNEW in your heart or wherever that you SHOULDN’T be abused! I am so impressed that God put that in you and that you fought back! Good on you. I still wish it had never happened to you, but since it did, I am glad you KNEW it shouldn’t have. (PS. Thank you for getting what I was saying. Sometimes with all the craziness, I still wonder if people don’t see how awful abuse is.)
Kmack and JM –
What I was attempting to convey was how fixated the congregation and pastors were on oversight! Call it partnership, call it headship, call it oversight, call it control, call it monkey’s uncle, it is all the same. Y’all are so steeped in control and headship that you look for it even when you have the option of freedom. In all my previous churches I never heard people worried about who they will “partner with”. Those things get worked out but I never saw them as the number one concern of the body and pastors.
AND as examples of “partnering” your guy gave CLC and Redeemer and Grace as primary examples! THAT’s nothing new…it is still the same old folks who think the same old way and drink the same old kool-aid!!!
As far as apologies go, that certainly didn’t sound like SGM apologies and it wasn’t even up to Peacemakers apology standards. It didn’t mention specifics, it didn’t mention impact, it didn’t mention repentance, and that’s just a start. They said, “…and that was us too”. That’s not a real apology. That was little more than the little boy saying “sorry” when his parents told him to go apologize. (For real apology look up Josh’s apology to CLC a year ago summer.)
Kraftig did a fine job of pointing out the lack of real change. Your pastor’s who “formerly had total, infallible, unquestioned control over the people” could only say “…and that was us, too” in connection with their CENTRALIZED POWER STRUCTURE – they had control of all the money, all the programs and all the people, TOP DOWN COMMUNICATION – and that was if they communicated at all!, MARGINALIZED PEOPLE – and that was good if they didn’t actually put them out or fun them off, MINIMIZING THEIR OWN FAULTS – I thought they were perfect, at least that is what they told us, and CHANGE WITHOUT EXPLANATION – but since there wasn’t explanation for anything it was hard to notice.
No, Kmack and JM, what you guys heard was not a real apology. What you wanted was a real apology but to do that they would have to admit to the things they had done. They were unwilling to do that. I have listened to the recordings from your family meeting and Sunday sermons and admitting “they got it wrong” or “…and we did that too” is not a confession. It is a tilt at taking some responsibility, or at the very least not acting like they are sinless, but it is certainly not a confession. And in listening on Sunday and on the previous recordings I have not heard the words “will you forgive us for…”. (If you want to hear that listen to Josh’s confession 18 months ago when he confessed and repented in front of CLC. Listen to him when he listed out the mistakes and said, “…it was well intentioned but it was wrong. Please forgive your pastors.” THAT, my friend, is a real confession.
I worry that you guys down there are so thrilled with the changes that are happening that you will not work hard to advance the freedoms that await you. Kmack, you are misinformed about the new polity coming to your church. It is nothing close to congregational! Iron fisted pastors don’t go to congregational. They man loosen the reins but that is not congregational. When I read what your pastors put out they say it is, Pastor led and congregationally affirmed. That means you get to rubber stamp what the pastors decide. You don’t really have any say, but you think you do.
I don’t mean to be down on everything. Please don’t accuse me of raining on your parade…there are lots of great changes. No doubt all the churches that leave SGM are headed in a better direction. But those old dogs who are still in power only know one way. Both Sun Tzu and Machiavelli wrote about what happens when you leave leader from an old regime in charge. They are changing but very slowly and they are doing it on a trial and error basis. They will stick with what they know and only make small modifications over a gradual period of time. The color of their jersey may change and they may bring in a new mascot but the team is still made of the same members. And nothing, nothing, nothing sounds anything like congregational coming from those guys. Don’t mistake change as the ultimate end. Becoming slightly less domineering and controlling is not the goal. Bringing on unpaid pastors is not the cure all for their woes. (Who do you think picks the new pastors? Certainly not the congregation! Oh yea, you get to confirm them. After the pastors pick their favorites and work with them they will trot them out to the congregation to affirm. Just like they did with the latest vote to leave SGM. Is that real coice? Just realize that the reason the sheeple/congregation voted to leave SGM is because the pastors did their job well and worked the people and made a case for leaving and convinced enough people it was the right thing to do. Because before this vote the pastors were calling these blogs gossip and slander. So don’t think too highly of the congregation’s vote.)
And concerning Kraftig’s two postulates:
Does it really matter, because the effects on the people and church were the same.
I am looking forward to better times for all of us…but we’re not there yet!
Just to be clear, as much as I pray for the guilty to repent (and I include all the leadership complicit in this), I pray even more for the abused and oppressed to find healing, peace, hope, and freedom.
And Brad, I don’t think SGM corporate is going to deny most of it except maybe as individuals refuting certain details. Tommy Hill has already broadcast the SGM strategy as sympathizing with the victims, saying they have instituted improved abuse guidelines, and then claiming the 1st amendment freedom of religion to provide pastoral counseling as they saw fir according to their beliefs at the time.
Oh, wait … they did say that there was some ‘misinformation’ in the filing, didn’t they? Well, that will be up to them to make the court believe. This is not a criminal case . . . yet.
“#24, it is in the hands of the authorities right now. If you wish to pursue this through legal means, please do so. We just need to watch out that we don’t take an odd pleasure in seeing the downfall of others. They may very well deserve it, and I don’t condone ANYTHING these men have done. But there is an odd pride that can take hold of our hearts. That’s all.
”
You mean talking about a public lawsuit on a blog causes “odd pride”. Where on earth did you learn such things. Oh wait…SGM.
Tell you what, why not worry about your own heart? What does it mean when YOU feel the right to call out others for vague and implied sins? Odd Pride? Or is that the usual sin sniffing technique? BTW: You don’t find “vague” rebukes in the NT.
Stunned–
Thank you so much for your kindness and thoughtfulness. It is appreciated! It is difficult for people to understand the affects of abuse on a person when they have not, themselves, been abused. Gladly I was not sexually abused, but you know what, the abuse that I did suffer was enough to rob me of my life–everything that gives a person life, whether that be joy, self-respect, hope for a future, a sense of purpose and belonging, a sense of value. I had none of that. What child can deal with such a burden? Let alone, what adult can deal with it when it goes unhealed and unresolved. Abuse in the name of religion goes even further to damage your spirituality beyond recognition. But as you say, God is powerful enough to speak to us…and he does. Now, people will tell you that what you heard wasn’t God because it’s not how they believe they would have responded…but at the end of the day, who cares what they think anyways? I wished that I had the nerve that I do now, that I had it then. Goodness! But it is why children need advocacy, like hard core advocacy. When you’re a child, you are at the mercy and grace of others. Every aspect of your life is dependent upon the kindness and love of others. To be in such a place of vulnerability is nothing I ever want to experience again. And it is often the reason why I do not wish to have children. While I think I’d be a great mother, I no longer to wish to bring anybody into this world. It is a difficult world to be in and being a child is one of the most difficult ways to come into this world.
Kris/Guy, do you have a pdf version of the amended lawsuit?
Biker, yes. I will be making it available this evening.
There is NO way with the level of oversight including the care groups, etc, that more people in leadership did not know some of this. SGM/PDI ran on hierarchy and control. CJ has been covering up for perverts for a long time while building his brand.
Trina, Ignore Catherine. She has no compassion for the abused. Her first comment was trying to make people feel guilty for discussing this. Not for the victims. That should tell you all you need to know. It was nice of you trying to explain it to her. But save yourself the trouble. There are some very hard hearts out there in was is called Christendom who will go to great lengths to protect their favorite gurus and shame victims or those who care about them.
Trina,
I wish there were more people like you in this world. It would surely be a better place.
Imalone–
Thank you! I appreciate it. haha
Stunned–
Thank you. That is so very kind of you to say. But I do laugh and think my God, what a rambunctious world it would be! Jesus! I can be a hand full!
Well now, let’s interject some happy thoughts into this tragic thread, with a quote from none other than Larry Tomczak himself in his old book “God, the Rod, and your Child’s Bod”. ( and I was all for spanking on occasion…just not babies, and certainly not bare bottomed girls being spanked by a man).
Git yer barf bucket handy…..
Hum. looks like not all of them forgot so quickly after all.
Well behaved women rarely make history- Eleanor Roosevelt
5years,
I am so grieved over this, but was #68 really necessary?
Catherine,
“odd pride”? I could barely get thru reading the amendments to the lawsuit. This is all so so upsetting. And to know that there is more than likely more to come is even more so.
I was shell shocked when I read these allegations and still am. Though they are just allegations the lawyer for the plaintiffs’ case is reported to be quite a high caliber lawyer and with that being the case I am sure she has reasonably vetted the information. I doubt this lawyer would be willing to risk jeopardizing the original complaint by introducing something like this without doing some fact checking etc. Thus am sure there is significant merit to these allegations.
I knew there were problems but didn’t think that they would be this egregious. The original ones were bad enough. These are even worse.
My thoughts and prayers go out to the victims. This is very disappointing if even one of these allegations proves to be true.
…and the strength of sin is the law. 1 Cor 15:56
@ Never Again #59: “And Brad, I don’t think SGM corporate is going to deny most of it except maybe as individuals refuting certain details. Tommy Hill has already broadcast the SGM strategy as sympathizing with the victims, saying they have instituted improved abuse guidelines, and then claiming the 1st amendment freedom of religion to provide pastoral counseling as they saw fir according to their beliefs at the time. // Oh, wait … they did say that there was some ‘misinformation’ in the filing, didn’t they? Well, that will be up to them to make the court believe. This is not a criminal case . . . yet.”
Sorry if I muddied the waters. I’m still working to get back up to speed with the SGM class action suit and now that you mention it, yes, I remember the specific change of words describing ‘misinformation’ between the earliest press release from the SGM headquarters and the revised version posted sometime later, and their setting the stage for an strategy of freedom of religion etc.
And you’re right about corporate versus individual defendants will likely handle things.
I muddled my metaphors – sorry. I intended my main point to be something like this: As an outside-SGM watcher who’s been following since somewhere mid-2012, I find there’s a lot of evidence that can’t be explained away, and as more details come out, I think justice will eventually emerge. (Despite a freedom-of-religion defense.)
Is it okay to quote *The Lord of the Rings* here? In *The Two Towers* movie, Aragorn will lead the forces on the wall. Just before the battle, Legolas tells him, “Your friends are with you, Aragorn.” Just so you know, to those SGM-insiders in the midst of this battle, your outside-SGM friends are with you …
I can’t begin to assign which abuse situation was the “worst” of all these. ExCLC’s family tragedy is still hard to think about, and Taylor’s is shocking. Noel, Happymom, every situation was so damaging to everyone involved. Each one makes me shake my head in dismay, and I fear for the ones we don’t know about yet.
These new cases hit public awareness all at once. It’s just too horrifying.
And, instead of being done in private homes by members and then later made worse by pastors, as if that weren’t already bad enough, some of these take it all the way to the top, happening at church events, on church and school grounds, and even by the main co-founder. Just about evryone t the top knew something. It throws a much wider net of blame and liability.
…and AoR blamed the blogs?
(Trying to wrap my head around the law suit’s allegations and wondering just how much of this was revealed to AoR. I can’t imagine that they were uninformed and can’t come to any logical explanation for why their report indicted the blogs.)
Paedophile ring? Is this a legal term the law suit is using or was there an actual group of people who determined to join together to sexually abuse children?
Ellie- maybe not necessary, but considering that book by a SGM founding Apostle was for sale at my PDI church right up until Larry was kicked out, I’d say it is a pertinent subject.
I am not sure where one draws the line between sex abuse, spousal abuse, child abuse, and occasional legitimate spankings for a child that is doing something dangerous and must be stopped…but I’d say that in the SGM mindset they are all connected. The way they treated babies and women and victims of perps, well, it all seems like the same evil spirit to me.
I could be wrong and I am truly sorry to offend you. But anybody new here, or new to the allegations, needs to know the cruel atmosphere that was set by the Apostles. I think this books brings some insight in that regard. (And don’t get me started on Ezzo.) Again, I might be wrong.
My emotions are stirred by this subject and this thread so I apologize if my post was wrong. For now, I just don’t think so. Perps THRIVE in the sort of environment that whacks little babies for squirming when they get a diaper change, or beats a kid multiple times who is two years and old and shy around a stranger. I think they are all shoots from the same dark root. I think it is all related. Like I said, I could be very wrong. Its up to kris if the post stays or not, she can remove it if she finds it distasteful.
Remnant…..yikes, I forgot about AoR…you think they knew these stories? Maybe Jim knows, or Kris or Bob Dixon or somebody. AoR knew enough anyway to be judged incompetant in my book, but now I wonder.
Oswald- meant to thank you for your comment to me on the last thread about the big dogs. Oy vey :)
5Years: I think the writing and belief system of one of the named defendants regarding a topic for which he is accused, is an appropriate comment. Talk about connecting the dots! “… and Your Child’s Bod…” has quite a new connotation today.
Trina said, “And it is often the reason why I do not wish to have children. While I think I’d be a great mother, I no longer to wish to bring anybody into this world. It is a difficult world to be in and being a child is one of the most difficult ways to come into this world.”
It is the heart that you share on this blog that makes me think you are EXACTLY the kind of Mommy a child coming into this world would need! Never give up on the world. Christ conquered the world and you CAN raise a child in the admonition of the Lord Jesus Christ. I am praying for you, that you will not be afraid to bring a child into the world when God’s timing is upon you. Children change everything in a moms heart no matter what the world does. Be blessed!
Wounded by the Wolves: To my knowledge, there are a few people that have had “sexual related” issues with SGM but are PRO SGM anyway and most assuredly will not be coming forward. While this baffles the mind, I have a feeling that EK is one of them. I am pretty sure that the huge Metro Life Church sex scandal is sealed up tight as a drum. They love CJ down there for sure.
As bad as the filing’s allegations are, it’s my opinion that this is just the tip of the iceberg.
We will likely never know the full scope or the ongoing consequences of SGM’s dysfunctional approach to situations of abuse. In my years of doing this site, I have communicated with many people whose stories are so similar to those of the plaintiffs that they may actually be these particular plaintiffs…or the plaintiffs could be totally separate individuals. That’s how pervasive this pattern is.
It’s almost funny – in a terribly sad way – when people write to me and are so concerned that I not share their stories on the site. While I honor these people’s requests, what they don’t realize is that when you remove just a few of the identifying details, there’s simply no way anyone would be able to tell whose story belongs to whom. SGM leaders had to have been trained, somehow, to respond in exactly the same ways to every situation of abuse.
SMP-
The allegations made by EK were about individual(s) in the Mooresville church plant not Metro church.
Question for Eric Kircher- Did you go to law enforcement per your allegations of sexual abuse by certain person(s) that you wrote about and sent this document to the SGM leadership team?
SMP, when you reference the MLC sex scandal in #78, are you talking about the two main cases that have been publicly addressed in family meetings in the past few years?
Remnant said,
Yes.
Apparently, AoR is snowed by SGM’s brand of “gracious” talk and nauseating expressions of “gratitude.” At the same time, AoR wrote off anything that might have been communicated a bit too roughly for their tastes.
When it came to AoR, the truth didn’t matter as much as a greasy layer of flowery words. Plain speaking on a blog under an anonymous handle? SIN! Covering up child sex abuse and discouraging parents from reporting it to the police? Just an isolated sad mistake.
SGM knew exactly what it was doing when they hired that group.
Mama, #82. “the two main cases” ??? MAIN? There were MAIN and not-so-main sex scandal cases at MLC?
What?
I don’t understand.
Now I am angry. So glad I left my SGM church over a year ago. It’s time to tell remaining SGM churches members it is no longer acceptable to stay in a house whose capstone, foundation, and weight bearing structures are corrupt, compromised, crooked, and beyond repair. I do think it’s now time to say that the entire structure must be condemned and torn down (SGM). I have never been to this point until now, but with the criminal history of the founders (CJ’s Blackmail is not debatable), the history of shepherding abuses (beyond the sick stories of sexual abuse, how many suicides happened at CLC due to the arrogant teaching of CJ that professional help and counseling for depression were “evil”), and the continued deceit and unrepentant hearts of the leaders, it’s time for the structure to be torn down. Is it possible to sue SGM for past tithes given under false pretenses?? I trust the Lord with everything and do not regret my past tithes, but if it were even remotely possible to sue in order to help put pressure on the structure to force it to collapse, well count me in. I would donate all recovered tithes to the victims in the lawsuit; I just now, for the first time ever, want to see SGM SHUT DOWN!!!
radicallysaved,
if only. I’m afraid the people at my former church won’t even know about most of this and the members will go on with their smug little lives while their children’s lives crumble around them & they don’t even know it.
Mama #82 I wish I were. I am talking about what happened in 2004. EK did end up calling law enforcement.
Story has hit WaPo: http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/lawsuit-accuses-neo-calvinist-church-movement-leaders-of-child-sexual-abuse/2013/01/14/6e671764-5e94-11e2-90a0-73c8343c6d61_story.html
I think one of the hardest obstacles for these guys to now surmount, especially the pastors from the exiting churches like FFX, is how these cases have exposed what appear to be long-standing patterns of chronic and habitual lying — across the board. What is being uncovered points to a system that condones lying and deceit when it suits the authority figures.
If people have knowledge of other situations that would strengthen the plaintiffs’ case, perhaps they should contact the attorney.
I do believe it would be possible to issue a subpoena to gather the information, whether written, recorded, or in verbal deposition.
Brad said, “Just before the battle, Legolas tells him, “Your friends are with you, Aragorn.” Just so you know, to those SGM-insiders in the midst of this battle, your outside-SGM friends are with you …”
Thank you, Brad. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You don’t know how encouraging and uplifting that was to read.
Kraftig said,
This is one of the reasons why I can’t help but be skeptical of anything and everything that anyone in power within SGM churches – even the churches that have left SGM – says. For decades, protecting the organization trumped everything, even the truth. It was always about preserving and promoting “the movement” that was PDI/SGM.
Why would it be any different now? If these pastors were trained by CJ, spending years groveling for recognition from him and his minions in order to move up the leadership chain, then they were also trained to shade or withhold the truth if the whole truth wasn’t flattering to the organization. Ditching the organization doesn’t mean that these leaders have necessarily ditched all their training in lying and obfuscation. Who’s to say they’re not just distancing themselves from all things SGM because it’s better for “the movement” to distance themselves? Who’s to say it’s still not all about self-preservation?
“…is how these cases have exposed what appear to be long-standing patterns of chronic and habitual lying — across the board. What is being uncovered points to a system that condones lying and deceit when it suits the authority figures.”
Bingo, my friend. Excellent observation. Yet, you are in sin for reading the blogs. See how that works?
SMP, would you kindly contact me via Kris? Members of my family, with children, have been members of MLC since long before 2004.
Sydney, there were two main cases brought before the church because they involved staff family members, but to my knowledge, neither was about sex abuse but inappropriate activity between consenting adults.
My heart goes out in anger and concern for all the victims, including the probably many more who haven’t or may never come forward. I hope you do come forward now, for your own healing and for the protection and healing of others. These issues tend to repeat themselves down generations/into extended family situations until stopped by law enforcement. I’m praying for healing and comfort for you all. You are very precious in the Lord’s sight, and I pray justice is done, for the perpetrators’ sakes, but especially for the victims. I pray for mercy and forgiveness for all.
I know it’s possible that it was my own mind, but shortly before we left the SGM we were in, I believe the Lord gave me a vision of a large white boar. When I read Somewhereintime’s reference to pigs in #31, I shuddered. God’s mercy is greater than His wrath, but judgment should begin at the household of God.
Imalone, 93.
Indeed. Q) Why demand unquestioning loyalty and blind obedience from your subjects? A) So they won’t waste their (or your) time trying to decipher when you’re lying or telling the truth, and so they’ll never see all the signs that things are seriously off the rails [respectively].
But, if they do spot some of the signs, you can just lie some more.
Mama #94- Just so I can be clear, are you wishing to speak to me because you are concerned about your family members? All of the people involved in the 2004 case have moved to other SGM churches. The leaders are all still there at Grace Church, Lake Nona Church and MLC. They are the dangerous ones.
I assume that AoR will be called to testify. If so, I hope they will finally have some backbone.
I’m wondering why the cases of Pamela Poe and Carla Coe are not being brought as criminal charges. Statute of limitations? If the defendants are guilty of the crimes of which they are accused, there really should be criminal consequences, including sex offender registry, etc., just for the safety of other children.
Brent has the amended lawsuit up on his site.