The Police Report
August 20, 2015 in Sovereign Grace Ministries
Someone obtained a copy of the police report relating to Gene Emerson’s arrest on solicitation charges.
Here is the first page (click to enlarge): [WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT/LANGUAGE]
Here is the second page (click to enlarge):
and the third page (click to enlarge):
© 2015, Kris. All rights reserved.
I imagine that Gene Emerson has told himself so many times that he went there to get a massage that he now believes this to be the truth. You keep saying it so many times to yourself you start to believe it as truth.
I find it ironic that Kingsway just had this event at their church:
http://www.richmond.com/calendar/community/event_70bad160-f3f5-11e4-bc8b-101f742c6b0c.html
Fashion Show/ Sex Trafficking Awareness Event
and then for Gene to do what he did. Kingsway may have just rented out their space for this group.
Just posted “Gene Emerson, Former Regional Leader for SGM, Arrested, Arraigned, Found Guilty, & Sentenced for Solicitation of Prostitution” at BrentDetwiler.com.
http://abrentdetwiler.squarespace.com/brentdetwilercom/gene-emerson-former-regional-leader-for-sgm-arrested-arraign.html
Kingsway’s statement about Gene is still up. “This morning we made the difficult announcement that Gene Emerson has chosen to resign his position as senior pastor of Kingsway Community Church.”
To say Gene chose to resign is to imply he didn’t have to resign. Why was the statement worded that way? Why not just say that Gene resigned? Or better yet, why not fire him?
Most people would think that a pastor’s conviction for soliciting a prostitute is a fireable offense, but maybe it’s not…? Is Kingsway afraid a lawsuit would arise if they fired Gene, so they emphasized that it was Gene’s choice to resign in order to protect themselves? Does Gene have an employment contract with Kingsway, and if so, what does it look like?
In regards to the (possible) video. Whatever availability there may be of a video showing the crime, I agree with Oswald —why would any Christian even want to view the details of such a sordid scene? Police factual evidence establishes the truth of the crime. I think of his wife and family. They have been hit by an atomic blast. How much more devastating to know anyone ‘out there’ is viewing the details of their husband, father, grandfather in a sexually illicit scene.
An elderly pastor friend of ours many years ago often proclaimed “God’s grace is sufficient and His judgment is sure.”
We are seeing His judgment — it has surely come to pass after many opportunities to walk in the light, in truth, and genuine repentance. God is able to bring forth His judgment without the ‘help’ of a video for all to see.
Kris, I’m with you and was struck immediately with the idea that Gene, caught in -at the very least – an adulterous sexual sin, would be allowed to CHOOSE to resign and not brought under church discipline? Really?! Would ‘Joe Six-pack’ who runs the sound board, or vacuums the halls be allowed to quietly and compassionately resign from his service to the church? If not, – or, let me be blunt – if ANYONE has ever been publicly shamed for sexual sin in KWCC then MW is every bit as big a hypocrite as GE himself for the way he is handling this crime and sin. Honestly, I understand the brainwashing he apparently grew up with, but programmed or not, the calling out of sin is all to common in SGM for this to be an “I can’t help it” moment. In my opinion.
Stunned, Waters, Bob Dixon, God bless you for your prayers and heart for ministry to the wounded in this situation and all the other sad situations SGM produces or causes.
Can anyone check Ashley Madison dump and see if any of the other SGM characters were having affair?
I have typed and backspaces a million times. Nothing is coming out right.
So- bullet points:
* I am a current member of Kingsway
* I am heartbroken for Liz, for her kids, their spouses, and her children’s children.
* I am poating because, trust me y’all, KW people are reading. And I would venture to think that, like myself, many have not responded because we just don’t know where to start.
* I ask for your prayers as we as members process this tragedy…thank you for those who have been praying.
* I am thankful for this thread, and for the few before it, for your insight, your tenacity in gathering facts, and your openness to talk with any of us who need/want it.
* I see truth in almost everything you all bring to the table- and most of it is incredibly gracious and tactful, especially considering some of your very personal experiences, not just with SGM(C), but with KW and GE himself.
* I have only one question at the moment: can any of you point me in the direction of UNBIASED (unbiased as possible) counseling moving forward? My husband and I would desperately love to process this not just with past and present members of KW, but with professionals who can offer solid counsel.
Thanks again, for bringing to light what very much needed to be brought to light.
Gosh, lotsa typos. Thanks in advance for deciphering my fat fingers.
The only reason I would recommend the viewing of the video is that some have been duped into believing that the police trumped this up and lied. Apparently, that’s what they were told by the offender. Video of this recognizable man with his exact words playing on the audio would be very difficult to fabricate. The leaders who stood up and expressed their support for his right to take legal action, the one who wrote (paraphrasing here) that courts sometimes make mistakes need to view all public records available for this case, and after seeing all the evidence, they need to either confirm or retract their support to the church.
A sixty-somthing old man using a pseudonym to get a ‘massage’ — what was he thinking?
Nothing Fancy, you have my deepest empathy. I don’t think there is anything wrong with counseling, whatsoever, but I know it did me a world of good when I left SGM to be more dependent in Bid and to experience hearing the Holy Spirit more distinctively, again. Once again, nothing wrong, at all, with solid outselling, just don’t discount the transformative effect of fervent prayer and an expectation that God can and wants to meets your needs in this.
“Nothing Fancy” –
Hi, and welcome.
It’s good to know the KingsWay people are thinking and working their way through what had to have been a real shock. I agree with you, my heart grieves for everyone, especially Mrs. Emerson.
In the spirit of your bullet point list, here’s mine. :-D I would encourage KingsWay members to demand that their leaders give them straightforward answers to questions like:
* Why was Mr. Emerson allowed to “choose to resign” rather than be fired on the spot?
* How is that consistent with the discipline meted out to many others over the years?
* If there has been a change in the way leadership views and handles obvious, gross sins, what sort of change was it, and what scriptures do they back this change up with?
* Will they seek out anyone who was disciplined for lesser offenses and then apologize for mishandling their sins?
* Or is Mr. Emerson getting special treatment because he’s a pastor?
* What financial arrangements have been made for Mr. Emerson? Is the church paying him a severance package?
* Why did Matthew Williams stand up in front of everyone and utter the phrase, “We’ve all done worse”? What does that even mean?
* Also, why did Matthew Williams make statements about supporting Mr. Emerson in whatever legal challenges he might bring against the city?
* Why did Matthew Williams even mention Mr. Emerson’s possible innocence at all? What could it possibly mean to be innocent of anything “illicit” while admitting a “lapse in judgment,” particularly after being convicted of the offense as charged?
* Did Mr. Williams do any sort of due diligence into the matter? Did he, for example, read the police report or court transcripts or anything else related to the case? If he did, again, WHY would he have made statements seeming to support Mr. Emerson’s possible innocence? What was his reasoning?
* Does Mr. Williams or any of the other leaders honestly believe that Mr. Emerson was only looking for a massage?
These are the first questions that come to mind. Maybe other people, particularly those who are familiar with KingsWay and Mr. Emerson, have others?
Nothing Fancy and other KW readers — welcome to the blogs. Prior to this episode, we ex-KW people had been fairly quiet for a long time here while other items/churches were on the front burner over the past year or so, but there were times in the past that much was written about situations at SCR/Kingsway.
You have been thought of, and agonized over, and prayed for by some of us for years. When I first left there, eons ago –in the last century,actually, my heart was deeply burdened for those I left behind. I wanted so badly to speak up, to talk to you, to explain, to warn, to encourage — but back then, talking about ANYTHING was verboten and considered gossip and slander. I was told not to tell why I left. And I was naive enough to believe that I needed to protect the leaders from looking bad, since what they’d done really didn’t speak well of them. I’ve since learned that Christ doesn’t need my ‘protection’ — He can take whatever comes, and He rejoices in truth, for He is love.
Many of you did not want to know or hear about what had happened to us, so we’ve been waiting. Some of you are my friends on FB, or around town, but we have carefully avoided the elephant in the room.
The great thing is that now, you are much more free to ask questions and get answers. You can actually send emails to leaders and ask questions. There is no need for the fear and trembling many of us felt when we first needed to find out what the heck we’d been dealing with. You do not have to be in fear of your identity being discovered and being called on the carpet by your cell group leader and have your name turned in too the pastor. The power that damaged many of the fine people here no longer exists. Being overly dramatic for a minute, it’s sort of like the Berlin Wall coming down. You’re not going to be shot for leaving.
So, whatever you need, however we can help, please ask — we’re praying and we love you. Welcome.
The more I think about this and all the news about the Ashley Madison Hack…… The more I am truly humbled. We have probably all been presented with the question of “how would you feel if all your thoughts were put up on A screen?” Well I think the Internet has done that to our culture. There is indeed something about the Internet and what we are exposed to that makes us act stupid in private. Except it’s not really all that private! So whether it is wasting all day on Facebook… looking at pornography…, or following through and visiting a prostitute…, I am starting to see how all these things are connected . Jesus talked about committing adultery in our hearts . That was bad enough, and if I had to be honest I would have to say that I am guilty. I am glad that Gene got caught and I want to see him be held accountable. SGM really angers me with all of their double standards. But I am also putting myself on high alert to guard my own heart Acting on our impulses will always have greater consequences than committing adultery in our hearts ….. But technology sure does have a way of getting my heart’s attention far too often. In addition to praying for The people at Kingsway we should all be praying for ourselves and our own churches
Nothing Fancy: Thank you so very much for posting that others at KWCC are reading and seeking truth!! That’s an answer to prayer!! The Truth will set you free!!
Praying for you and for other members at KWCC that are seeking Truth!
(We were at Southside/Kingsway from 1999-2010)
Nothing Fancy, my heart breaks for where you and so many at Kingsway are right now. Trying for so long to make sense out of nonsense. Almost eight years ago, my wife and I wanted so bad to make Kingsway work, but we knew deep down inside that we had to go. Kingsway felt so right for the first couple years, but a stirring inside allowed us to do the right thing by quietly leaving. Nothing Fancy ignore the fluff, the spin, the excuses. Listen to you heart; Abba lives there and will give you direction. When we left in 2007, we stayed out of ANY organized “church!” for two and a half years to re-establish intimacy with HIM!!!! Take your time; listen to your heart. Your Father IS FAITHFUL!!!
I am curious as to whether the KW people reading are “new” members that came after 2010 or any of the “old” members that have been around forever.
Nothing Fancy-
Welcome! Thank you for posting. I have been out of my former SG church for over 2 years now. I think that by reading here and posting you are already taking steps toward processing what you have been through. I think sometimes those of us who have been out of SG for a while now forget what it’s like to be in a SG church – forget how hard it was to think clearly while you are in a SG church. At least that is the way it was for me. I highly recommend counseling. Counseling helped me to process the experience of being in a SG church. My counselor helped me to focus on the truth of the Bible – what it really says not what leaders taught that it said. I began to be able to hear from the Holy Spirit again – to once again be a discerning Christian. I wish I could recommend a counselor in your area.
Please know that many of us on Survivor continue to pray for those who are still in SG churches. To be completely honest my prayer for you is that you would leave Kingsway. Keep reading, keep posting and more importantly keep praying.
Thanks for the love, y’all. Seriously.
To Truth: I am “new” according to your terms. Joined 2011. Read these forums back in 2012. Stuck by KW at the time.
And Kris: we HAVE asked these questions. Waiting for answers to some; ultimately displeased with answers that we HAVE received. Seems par for the course with SGM.
Nothing Fancy: There are some good books out there. For starters, I’d recommend “The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church ” by Jeff Vanvonderan and David Johnson. You might recognize Jeff V. if you ever watched “Intervention” on A&E network — I think he was a host of that series. I’ve recommended this to several friends in and out of high-pressure churches, and it was a huge help to all of them. (I don’t know any of the authors or get any commissions from this. Too bad they don’t sell it in the KW bookstore.) It’s available pretty cheap in the kindle edition.
Kris:
To add to your list, I’d want to ask if there are computers or cell phones owned by the church that may have been used for illicit activity, and if so, if they will be checked for illicit uses. And ask if GE took anything with him when he left — laptop, cell phone, furniture, etc.
And, ask if any funds were given to GE after the appeal to give extra for the ‘sabbatical’, and if so, will they be returned.
Since GE has resigned, there is no way for the church to rehire him to fire him — it’s a done deal. But the leaders can come clean and tell what they knew and when they knew it. And since he is still a ‘member in good standing’ they can sure as heck confront him about lying to them (& the Holy Spirit) about the arrest and conviction. I don’t know if GE actually spoke to the congregation at the meeting where the conviction was explained away as a mistake, or if Matthew repeated what had been told to him. Ask if they plan to discipline GE for lying, or even admit that lies were told.
***
The nepotistic nature of SGM has often been discussed on the blogs. Although Matthew and Gene are not technically related, the families go back a long way as friends, and Matthew has long been Gene’s protege. This kind of relationship between the two may have led to Gene’s high comfort level in hiding this sin, his crime, and the conviction. Although they may have disagreed many times as they worked together (or maybe they didn’t!), GE was probably reasonably certain that Matthew would take everything he said at face value, would ‘believe the best’, and Gene could bet that the whole truth would not be told till he was safely off on sabbatical somewhere — or maybe it would never come out. As Matthew’s superior on the flow chart, and as his spiritual mentor, Gene was the one who called the shots. He hasn’t had to answer to anyone locally in his entire career. He was always the head honcho at SCR/KW. So the boss isn’t accustomed to having to answer to the protege. And the protege isn’t accustomed to being suspicious of or questioning the boss’ absences or activities. GE used the dynamics of this relationship to his advantage in attempting to hide the conviction, and when it became public, he had the hubris to explain it away as a ‘lapse in judgment.’
SGM/KingsWay members,
I would like to offer some thoughts regarding counseling that might be helpful. I believe anyone exposed to SGM and their churches has very likely been profoundly impacted in the following ways: first, by embracing a heretical theology; second, by being spiritually abused as that heretical theology has been applied; and third, by the emotional and psychological trauma of being shunned, rejected, and ostracized by those you trusted to support and love you as brothers and sisters in Christ.
In my experience, it is very difficult to find a counselor who understands the theological components and repercussions regarding your exposure to SGM/Kingsway’s heretical theology, and yet I believe, this is the etiology or muddy fountain from which all spiritual, psychological, and emotional problems emanate related to SGM.
It is absolutely critical to understand this first component, heretical theology. If the goal is to regain wholeness in the three areas noted above, it is imperative that a plausible etiology or root cause to these problems be considered. Otherwise, it will be very difficult to experience spiritual, psychological, and emotional health and maintain relevant traction as one works through each problem area.
Once an individual understands the deviant spiritual dynamic which informs the corresponding problems, it is more likely that genuine healing can take place. It is also important to explain to your counselor that you have been spiritually abused and you would like the counselor to consider the gravity and weight of this as they formulate various interventions and treatment plans. In other words, the trauma that members of SGM/Kingsway have experienced is comparable to being physically or sexually abused/violated. This can prove a difficult concept for most counselors to accept. This is because spiritual abuse is a relatively new problem in the field of counseling.
Therefore, it is rare that a counselor will make a diagnosis of PTSD once they hear your story, and yet I believe this is perhaps the most accurate diagnosis of the problem. This fact is evidenced by the brother who posted previously regarding his experience in counseling where the counselor used EMDR as an effective treatment which is one of the most efficacious therapies for those suffering from PTSD. He is very fortunate that his counselor appreciated and perceived the degree of trauma necessary to make such a diagnosis and acted accordingly in the care of this individual.
Finally, I can assure you there is hope and healing for anyone affected adversely by their experience with SGM. Depression, anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia, confusion, disillusionment, grief due to relational loss can all be sorted out and a sense of wholeness, healing and peace can be realized once again, especially for those of us who are in Christ.
Let us remember, He is the great physician and our great wise Counselor. Do not despair. The One who loves us with an everlasting love said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life” and He is well able to make good on that promise, particularly in dark times.
Your brother in Christ,
Bob Dixon
Nothing Fancy……You may not know this already, Bob Dixon, who commented above, is a professional counselor. Maybe someone could give the link to his site.
Bob, would you mind being specific as to what you consider heretical, for the sake of clarity?
Welcome, ‘Nothing Fancy’ and all Kingsway readers,
You are safe here. Ask any questions and post any information you want to share with us or others. It sometimes takes a lot of folks sharing tidbits of data to see what is really going on, since transparency in SG churches is near zero. It can take a while to connect the dots and patience as you wait for others to see what you see.
Also, I have the name and website of a great out-of-state Christian phone counselor who is capable of helping you or others. I can send that information to Kris to distribute if she is okay with that. Otherwise, if you need to meet one-on-one, I recommend Bob Dixon to begin the process of setting yourself free.
Additionally, I agree with everything Jen mentioned above. The Holy Spirit is with you to comfort and guide.
Jenn Grover,
Heretical in the sense that SGM leaders believe they have spiritual authority over individual believers in their churches and act accordingly. This notion violates the autonomy known as the priesthood of the believer and by extension indicates they believe they have authority over Jesus Christ as His authority is manifested collectively in the body of Christ. In either case, they have no such authority. In my opinion, it is heretical and harmful for them to believe they do.
Great question! Got to go work the midnight shift. I’ll check in tomorrow.
Thanks, Bob. Thought that was less likely what you were referring to in your comments.
Here is an EMDR link I’ve found helpful.
This is by the woman who developed the therapy: http://consults.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/03/16/expert-answers-on-e-m-d-r/
If you’re looking for a therapist, the EMDRIA.com (EMDR International Association) site has a list.
This has been a wonderful therapy for me. Because I had developmental trauma that started in infancy, My therapist recommended the early childhood protocol first. I did that and am now going through the regular protocol. I’d be happy to answer any questions about my experience with it. It has truly been life changing. I feel like a different person. (A much more sane one.)
To add to Bob’s post, you might want to search for articles on pastors as spiritual covering or umbrellas. Maybe link the name Bill Gothard. Or “shepherding movement”, “Ft Lauderdale 5”.
Their spiritual authority becomes your covering or umbrella that helps protect you from attacks of Satan and sin. Do a word search on the atonement, the day of atonement was Yom Kippur…the covering. That little cap the orthodox Jews wear is a kippah, same root word. It was the blood covering over the door in Egypt that protected Israel from the angel of death. Now it is the blood of Jesus.
There is only ONE- ONE ALONE- protection and deliverance from sin, Satan, and death, and that is the blood of Jesus. The minute your care group leader’s authority or your pastors authority becomes your protection and covering, you have substituted a man for the blood of Jesus.
This doctrine may not have been prevalent at KW, I don’t know…..I know it was all over at other SGM churches, especially those with leaders that went back to the shepherding movement where Larry and CJ were prominent. If it was a doctrine you fell for, please do some bible study on atonement and covering and man as covering.
Of course God uses authority like parents, husbands, pastors, etc to help us and guard us and we don’t live our lives alone. But in SGM they robbed away your own walk with the Lord and instilled a fear of being out from under the pastoral/leadership authority in a distorted way, where they ended up in the place of God.
minor note re counseling…in my suburban neck of the woods biblical counselors charge anywhere from 75- 85- 95- 120 bucks per 45-50 minute session. Very few people can afford it. I would not hesitate to say it is a reasonable use of your tithe money right now if you already tithe. If you for any reason can’t muster up the finances, don’t underestimate the value of just talking it out with people who can listen and understand and care and pray for you. Counseling can be great, I have done it in the past, but the prices today are out of reach for most of us.
Nothing Fancy and other Kingsway Readers: Soooo glad you are here! The blog Under Much Grace (@ what spiritual abuse is) has really helped me. And there are good counselors out there. Don’t be afraid of someone who is not a Christian/Biblical counselor. That may be what works for some people. They are trained in human psychology and God made the human mind/emotions. He is ultimately the source of healing, even in counseling that is not specifically Biblical. They are mostly listening to you and helping you figure your own thoughts out. You can see someone just a couple of times and get a sense of whether they are helpful for you or not. There is no commitment. If it is not a right fit (and you CAN ask them questions and get straight answer,s unlike SGM) then you can find someone else. Also, this was posted by “Long, long ago…” a couple pages back and was such an incredible explanation of what many people coming out of spiritual abuse feel. Hope this helps:
“So about that Kool-aid / self-delusion thing…
I have spent much of the last 3 years in intensive trauma therapy, recovering from a life time of abusive church and (church-enabled) family trauma. Do you mind if I share some things I have learned about trauma’s effect on the brain (PTSD)?
This is an over-simplified layman’s explanation. . .
Trauma memories are stored by the brain in a way designed to prevent you from remembering them. (Kind of like how you go into shock if you chop off your leg.)
Your brain chops the memories up and basically hides them from you. People have described the affect like taking lecture notes on tiny post-its and throwing them into a bag and then trying to reassemble them to study. You have very vivid memories of some things but linear thought is very difficult. Also, the brain separates feelings from memories and stores those in different parts of the brain, so you have memories without feelings and feelings without memories. So it’s very difficult to see cause and effect. You may remember terrible things but think, “I don’t know. I guess that’s bad, but for some reason it doesn’t really bother me.” or think “People who complain should get over themselves. Look at me. All this terrible stuff happened to me, and I’m fine.” At the same time you may be always on hyper-alert and have “dis-regulated” (uncontrollable) emotions that seem to have no cause. There is a range of emotions that are tolerable. And “normal people” do things to generally keep their emotions in that range, but trauma survivors’ emotions stay high and low –way outside of that tolerable range (rage, panic, depression . . .) . In order not to die from the stress, they numb their emotions to survive (addictions, dissociation, going into a depressive fog, emotionally shutting down and numbing themselves. . .) Sadly, you can’t experience good emotions either when you’re like this. It makes relationships very difficult. You pass the trauma on.
Also, trauma encodes on the brain without words. Non-verbally. Which makes thinking about it or talking about it almost impossible. Ideally, if a person has a painful or confusing or scary experience, someone is there to help them make sense of it – to give them words for it. “What that boy did is called bullying. It’s wrong.” Or “What your mother did is abusive. It’s not your fault.” Or “Let’s take this doctrine apart and examine it from lots of different angles. This is abusive and inconsistent with scripture and here’s why.” But if bad things happen and you can’t process them and make sense of them—logically, cognitively, verbally—this is trauma. This happens, for instance, if someone in authority coerces or abuses you and then says, “This is God’s wonderful plan for you. Hallelujah!” Or when they fire confusing doctrine at you so fast you can’t process it. Or when you are raised as a child with abuse and think it’s normal.
In order to process memories normally, you need words. Trauma memories encode on your subconscious brain, without words, and unless you can get words for them somehow (like from talk therapy or an astute friend or a web site . . . ) the thoughts can’t get into the conscious part of your brain. The result is that you can’t process them. You can’t even think about them. Your brain just takes a detour if you get close to thinking about them or figuring out what is wrong or why you feel so bad. Your brain takes a detour even when you try to articulate your feelings – so you really can’t tell yourself or anyone else what you’re feeling.
(And actually, one mind-control technique that cults use is creating this “cognitive dissonance” on purpose by firing confusing ideas and experiences at people so rapidly they can’t process them and their mind shuts down.)
Finally, if your memories are only stored non-verbally in your subconscious brain and you can’t think about them or talk about them, then the only way you can remember them – the only way your subconscious mind can communicate to you what’s in there – is for you to act the memories out. This compulsion to act out trauma again and again is called “traumatic re-enactment”. It’s the traumatized brain’s attempt to do it over and get it right and “learn”. To figure it out.
This is why people stay in abuse. This is why traumatized people are so easily re-traumatized. Their warning system was on hyper-alert, so they shut it off (like unplugging smoke alarms). And they can’t remember cause and effect. And they are compelled to re-enact their trauma.
With modern brain research of the last 20ish years, there are new and wonderful therapies that can heal that scrambled wiring. My experience of going through this kind of therapy is that suddenly things become obvious that only a week before I was completely confused about and couldn’t make sense of no matter how hard I tried.
There were aspects of child rearing at Southside Church when I was there that seemed like it was creating this “cognitive dissonance” in the children. I couldn’t explain well at the time why this upset me so much. But now I know. I know from experience how this produces an adult unable to think normally. It’s interesting that one of those children I watched being raised in this way is now running the church. Also, when I read about the way SGM leadership treats each other, it seems very abusive and traumatic. Extremely toxic. Abused people abuse and traumatized people re-traumatize each other.
If you are in this kind of church, I highly recommend EMDR trauma therapy. Get your brain back. A functional brain is a good thing”
P.S. I don’t know anything about EMDR plus or minus. But the rest of this explanation is powerful and spot on!! Thank you “Long, long ago…”!
5 Years
While it is true that some counselors charge high fees and also take years to complete, some accept ‘free will’ offerings. And, if the counselor is effective and you rigorously do your ‘home work’, you can make quick work of much of your recovery in as little as three months, with once a week sessions. In that time frame the total cost would be less than $800.
Nothing Fancy, I recommend taking care of the ‘stuff’ you brought to the party (usually family influences, fears and cravings) in addition to sorting-out the false doctrine that is endemic in SGM.
I agree with Bob Dixon about the errors leaders make in SGM. Their position about the role of the Pastor is a false doctrine. They do not ‘stand in the stead of God’ for us. And they do not have an automatic ‘well-done’ coming to them from God just because they are pastors, as CJ liked to say. At best these are self-serving fantasies and at worst, they are manipulative lies.
Putting all that in proper perspective is helpful as you begin your search for a healthier church home. But, also take this opportunity to do some deep work on your own heart motivations. If you do that, I believe you will be able to say as we do that we are grateful for this painful experience because it helped us grow to become more fruitful followers of Christ.
Matthew has posted this blog:
http://www.kingsway.cc/the-way-of-escape
Matthew still seems to be walking around and ignoring the main issue. Perhaps doing the typical SGM tactic of “turning the tables.”
Matthew Williams said in the Kingsway blog:
“No question Gene is involved in the situation and in a direct way, brought it to pass. But Gene is not the main actor in this situation. God is. God always is. Which means we have to keep asking at every point along the way, even in the midst of a difficult transition, “Lord, what are you trying to say to me right now? What are you saying to us right now”
This is classic SGM – at first the question seems somewhat reasonable and somewhat open-minded. But it is not. First and foremost, do not forget that Gene brought this on, he started this. Whatever you want to call him (“main actor” or not), you cannot leave him out of the equation.
Second, this is classic redirecting – the leaders (because I don’t believe Matthew is speaking alone) are trying to get everyone else to look at themselves, not at the leaders. It is always good to examine ourselves, but now is NOT the time – this is not what this situation calls for.
Third, there are some obvious, practical questions that have already been asked here and, according to Nothing Fancy, are in fact being asked at Kingsway. No one needs to be told what questions to ask – this is a no-brainer situation. Don’t be fooled – keep your eyes on the main problem – the long-time leader of Kingsway was convicted of soliciting a prostitute and he has lied to his congregation. This is not a time for members of the congregation to turn inward and look at their own sin. That’s called “changing the subject.”
This comment also is a classic move, a back-handed way of telling everyone who has already asked questions and suggested answers that those are not the right questions and answers. How many people reading this site know about this technique? “We would love to hear your questions” so you tell the leaders your questions, they tell you the answers, you then question their answers, and then you are shown the door….
Matthew is attempting to get you to change the subject. Don’t let him.
Regarding KingWay’s abuse of leadership…
One time, I had a conversation with Gene and Matthew about my role in the church. I presented the question ” Don’t I know best what God is calling me to do?”
Gene’s response was a definitive “No. Since your heart is deceitfully wicked, you cannot determine for yourself what is God’s will.” He essentially said that this was the reason he put pastors over us.
On another occasion, Matthew, who was fresh out of college and Pastor’s College and all of 23 or 24 years old, preface a statement to me with “As your pastor…” I had been a Christian longer than he’d been alive, and he had the gall to talk down to me like that. This arrogance was brought about by Gene, who promoted him to main worship leader when he was around 18 and brought him on staff right out of Pastors College and made him “Executive Pastor” his first year, pushing him ahead of several older pastors who deserved the position.
I do also want to say that the concept of Gene pulling Matthew’s strings like Matthew was Gene’s puppet is not entirely accurate. I think Gene had almost an unnatural admiration for Matthew. His own kids sensed it. He pushed Matthew ahead so early and so fast. I think he deferred to Matthew’s judgement on many occasions, especially during the turbulent happenings of 2010. Much if not all of the statements written by Gene and sent out to the church were either composed by Matthew or heavily edited by him. I felt like even though Gene had the title of Senior Pastor, Matthew was running things. Gene felt Matthew was smarter and more capable than he was, in my opinion.
Nothing Fancy:
This is short… Getting ready to go to church. (Just saying it that way triggers some of you doesn’t it? (Hah!) But I do have a few thoughts.
So sorry you’re going through this. It’s hard to grasp the idea that while the leadership says one thing, they practice quite another and that “biblical” measures are meted out quite differently depending on whether you’re a pastor or a sheep.
You said,
Attending or joining a particular church in completely voluntary. Should you attend a church and fellowship with other believers? Certainly and I believe scripture supports that.
The choice of church, however, is completely yours. Sovereign Grace Churches only have authority and power over us if we let them. And let them we did.
We let them make the decisions. (No questioning of authority allowed – are you not believing the best? Do you not believe that we have your best interests at heart? You don’t know the full story. It wouldn’t serve you.)
We let them tell us what to think. (Whatever happens to us, it’s better than we deserve.)
We let them chose who to blame. (How does the Gospel inform you in relation to your actions?)
There is only one mediator between God and man… And it ain’t a SGC pastor so why let them play that role? Why should they or anyone else tell you how your relationship with Christ should be applied? (Don’t hear what I’m not saying – we should adhere to the basic tenets of the Christian faith and the spiritual disciplines.)
“We’ve all done far worse.” Look around – how many have done “far worse” than solicit a prostitute? Your BS meter should have been fully pegged at that statement. That is not truth. But we let them tell us that and because we’re trying to be good little Christians we follow along.
Nothing Fancy: You are free.
You are free to ask questions.
You are free to make choices.
If you don’t get satisfactory answers or they ask you to examine your sin instead (it looks like that has already started – redirect from the real problem) and they continue in their practice of not allowing real accountability to the people they serve, you are free to choose another church.
It looks like Gene made some pretty bad choices. You are free to make some really good ones.
God was the main actor in the Holocaust too. . . . I guess.
He did create people.
Gene must be publicly rebuked along with any other pastors who honored his years of service. It is not only the just thing to do but the God honoring thing to do. If they do not, God is dis honored. If this is who God appoints to lead and care for his people, I am deeply concerned for the people who must carry this yoke
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SGM/SGC prides itself on getting the goods on its pastors rising through the ranks. It is doubtful any of the pastors under Emerson were excused of this nefarious process. It is well known that to rise in the SGM/SGC organization, one has to tell little dark secrets in order to progress further in the ranks. Independent thinking goes out the window when this type of behavior occurs. This may ‘explain’ the hesitation on the remaining pastor’s part(s) to ‘spill the beans’, or make waves.
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Matthew says in his blog post noted above:
“We need help to see the way of escape. Sometimes it’s literally staring us in the face and we’re completely ignorant. We all need brothers and sisters who love us enough to point it out and who are willing to join us in crying out to God for power to obey.”
Matthew, I think God is providing you a way of escape in this present situation and it’s “staring you right in the face.” You are still a relatively young man. Get out while you can. Take a breather for a while. Spend lots of time with Jesus then see what He has for you, but definitely “take the way of escape” God seems to be providing you. It’s staring you right in the face.
Roadwork,
Well done. I have long thought the same thing but I did not have the words for it.
They only thing I would add is that Williams is not some Pastor’s College bot sporting the standard fake perma-grin smile. He is actively trying to control the narrative by controlling the question and changing the subject.
Side note: HBO had a special on Scientology a few weeks ago. Scientology is far more heavy handed than Sovereign Grace or Covenant Life Church; however, the core techniques should creep you out a little. And, by the way, people do come out of it when they wake up and buck authority.
There seemed to be three “right” things Gene should have done:
1. The right thing would have been to not get involved with this kind of behavior.
2. The right thing would be after having committed the crime, to quickly admit it and step down.
3. The right thing would be (to save his sorry A**) would be to claim he was “set up” i.e. entrapment, to save himself from going to jail.
Gene Emerson chose #3:
There are also three “right” things SGM should have done:
1. Treat Gene like ANY OTHER person in SGM who solicited a prostitute and publicly humiliated him before his church.
2. As soon as they knew what Gene had done, asked him to step down and tell the church why.
3. Allow Gene to save face, and say he was set up.
The church leaders/SGM chose the #3.
SGM’s motto for their own “chosen ones” is simple. “It’s Not The Crime; It’s If You Get Caught.”
SGMer’s Move along, there’s nothing to see here… It’s just another isolated incident.
Let me count all the excuses SGM has given on various sins instead of confessions:
Child molestations in various churches
Refusing to address the child molestation problem
Bad mouthing the victims of child molestation
Aiding and abetting the preps of child molestation
Resolutely defending their lack of care for victims
Blackmailing Larry and his family
Hiding blackmail until it was revealed by Brent Detwiler
Refusing to confess sin even when Brent patiently appealed for 10 years.
Many, in addition to CJ, DH, MP, GE, JM, and many others joined to nail Brent to the cross and then continue to spread bad report about him
The Kangaroo court, TAR (the ambassadors of reconciliation), to tar and feather the victims again and again
Spread bad report about covenant life church and the pastors as though SGM was not a part of CLC
Spread bad report about Fairfax and the pastors as though they are not a part of SGM
Spread bad report about other churches and pastors who left SGM after honoring these same folks for years and held them as models
Controlling what people read in the blogs ( not all blogs are off limits for SGM people)
Refusing to inquire into matters where complaints against leaders are brought by people who have been in church for over decades
Shunning and spreading bad report about all those who question leaders
Even initiating church discipline on those who continue to appeal for justice
Refusing to apply just scale by independently inquiring with diligence any report against any leader
Giving pass to leaders caught in sin while chasing people across state and church lines to harass them under false pretense of church discipline
I can go on and on. But I leave this list for others to build and continue to build on. I hope this is placed at the top of the page so that everyone who comes here will first look at this and then go on for there
To the people, the Precious Saints of KWCC: please honor and fear the LORD with your TITHES! Sadly, this is a form of commentary that your leadership can’t ignore. They can misdirect or passively ignore your questions and your request for integrity. But they cannot or will not ignore the cash flow of the church. I’m not saying withhold your tithes from the Lord, but I’m asking you – urging you – to consider setting them aside or pray about placing them elsewhere UNTIL you are respected enough to get the transparency you deserve from the leaders you have trusted.
Defended, Well said!
I’m guessing that there are licensed massage therapists that attend KW. If not, I’m guessing that there are members who use their services.
When looking for a service provider, say an auto mechanic or someone to cut your hair, one usually reaches out to friends and family for recommendations. In my case, my Dr recommended a LMT to help me with back spasm. She didn’t work out of a hotel room, did not advertise in hooker classified sections, and was very comfortable with allowing my wife (at my request) to sit in the room while my back was worked on.
Legit, highly trained and skilled professionals in this field are easy to find. Gene was looking for a hooker, and he seemed pretty good at it. I can’t believe that anyone is naive enough to believe otherwise.
From: “The Epiphany Moment: When Your Confidence In Your Religious Group Falls Apart”
“Whenever I talk to people who have exited a spiritually abusive group, I usually ask them about what I have come to describe as the “epiphany moment” – the moment when circumstances force them to acknowledge that there is something desperately wrong, and they find themselves no longer able to make excuses for what they observe or experience. Everyone who has walked through the process knows that moment well when they felt the foundations of their trust fail. It’s a point at which the the pain necessary to maintain group membership suddenly, significantly, and painfully outweighs any benefit and gain. I believe that people who remain in a group often have such moments, too, but they choose to ignore the conflict so that they can remain a part of their group.” http://undermuchgrace.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-epiphany-moment-when-your.html#more
Nice Jim to see you posting. Good points you made.
I wonder if Gene Brooks was this dumb to think that his excuse for what he did would work? My guess is that he didn’t but probably knew it would buy him some time and that it did.
Gene was able to delay the consequences of his actions like 3 months or so.
Below is the timeline that someone posted a little while ago (I added the last date):
May 29 – Gene is arrested for Soliciting a Prostitute
June 9 – Arraignment, continued to July 9
July 9 – Trial. Gene found guilty.
July 12 – Matthew informs congregation that Gene will be taking a five month paid Sabbatical beginning August 1
July 19 – Gene leaves with team to go on KingsWay short term mission trip to Bolivia.
August 8 – Family meeting informs KingsWay membership of Gene’s resignation.
August 9 – Matthew informs KingsWay congregation (and the public via KingsWay website) of Gene’s resignation.
8/20 – SGM Survivors posts Gene’s police report showing that it was Gene intent to do solicitation.
The massage excuse has almost bought Gene 4 months of escape. On the downside it has ruined his reputation and that of Kingsway worse then if he had just admitted his sin without delay and trying to justify his actions.